“Humbly let go. Let go of trying to do, let go of trying to control, let go of my own way, let go of my own fears. Let God blow His wind, His trials, oxygen for joy's fire. Leave the hand open and be. Be at peace. Bend the knee and be small and let God give what God chooses to give because He only gives love and then whisper a surprised thanks. This is the fuel for joy's flame. Fullness of joy is discovered only in the emptying of will. And I can empty. I can empty because counting His graces has awakened me to how He cherishes me, holds me, passionately values me. I can empty because I am full of His love. I can trust.” 

This Christmas...

Well,
I've been silent on here for awhile now.
Not because there isn't anything to say,
or experiences or events that have opened my eyes-
but I can't express them all right now.

However, the holidays are coming up...
and I found this little blurb on another blog-
and I can't not share it.

Everyone is asking what people want for Christmas,
or getting this or that-
but I think this author and I are on the same page with what we need this year.

"I don’t want a Christmas that you can buy.

I don’t want a Christmas that you can make.

What I want is a Christmas that you can hold.

A Christmas that holds me, remakes me, revives me.

I want a Christmas that whispers — Jesus.

I want a Christmas that lives and breathes and moves in Jesus Christ.

I want for the God in the manger who makes Himself bread…

For the Saviour in swaddlings who makes Himself our robe of righteousness.

For the Christ who makes precisely what none of us can — Christmas.
It is only Christ alone who can make Christmas."

Yeah, this writer gets it.

A Christmas we can behold, and be held.

Joy in it's simplest, yet most important forms.

Wishing you nothing less than amazing this Christmas season.

Abide

*So- this blog is going to kind of piggyback off of the last one- heads up.*



Here lately, the idea of holding on to things has just been very present in my life.
I'm not sure why.
Maybe it's because I thrive on consistency.
Security.
I get this idea in my mind of how something is going to be,
and thats how it's going to be.



But then on some idle Monday-
things change.
That idea of things in your head took a right,
and you missed the turn.
Ever find yourself there?

See, so often we find ourselves holding on
with relationships,
plans,
friends,
people,
promises,
ideas,
and how we think things are going be-
that we so often forget we came into this world with nothing,
and we can't take anything with us when we go.

But on a grander scale,
we are busy making plans, deepening relationships, and holding on to words-
That we forget these things were never ours to begin with.
They were graciously given to us by the God who knows our hearts,
The God who knows how the story is going to go,
The God who gives,
and takes away.

After a few long nights, and a few crazy days-
I am beginning to see that yes, we hold on to these things for comfort,
when the only true comfort can be found from the One who made us intricately.
Because you see,
The One who made us intricately designed us to need Him, to seek Him,
to abide in Him.
And then we will find a place to put our dependance, our relationships, our longings, our plans, our promises.
In Him.

We hold people to standards.
We put them in a position to meet all of our needs, and they can't.
While yes, they can do a lot and life is a lonely place without friends/relationships,
and they each add so much to our lives individually and collectively,
They shape our lives and teach us things we were meant to learn from them specifically,
but they can't ever fully satisfy our hearts need,
-and we can't expect them to-
They are a gift from God, but they are His- not ours.

When or if we can ever fully grasp this,
maybe then we can let people finally be people-
and just maybe
we can finally let God be God.


Just maybe,
we could let God be all we ever need.
because-
He is all we will ever need.








"... and the things of this earth will grow strangely dim- in the light of His glory and grace."

To fully embrace- grace.

So, sometimes I like to sit back and watch.
To be silent.
To observe.
To learn.

Actually, most times I like to do this.


Well, here lately I have been watching some of the people closest to me,
as well as reviewing the pages of my own story the past few months.
And I must say, for awhile I have been left without words.
Not necessarily in a bad way, but just not able to string my thoughts together like usual.

I have noticed with myself, as well as with those around me that we hold on.
We hold on to love,
to fear,
to life,
to loss,
to material things,
to words,
to traditions,
to things we can count on,
to things we can't stand to see change.

We hold on to these things, sometimes- for dear life.


But I have to wonder, what would we do if we let these things go?
If we let them go and live,
If we let go and let God be God.

Do we fear that lack of control?
Are we afraid to let Gods power be portrayed in our lives?
Are we afraid of His power?
The One who knitted us together in our mothers womb,
the One who loves us without fault or fail,
the One who sees past our pain.

Could you imagine letting that everlasting, almighty, loving power loose?
Us letting go of all we hold on to,
and just getting out of the way-
to let Him take the pen and write the pages of our lives?

It's a freeing thought.
Can we have the courage to see the redemption in our lives come full circle,
by letting go of our lives?

Like a good mother told me "God is just watching our lives, He's already got it tivo'd. He knows what is coming next, let's just let go and let Him work."


Can we have the courage to dance in His freedom?
To fully embrace- grace.

I know this one is going to be short,
but-
Have you ever just stopped,
Stopped and looked around?

Looked at the little things?
Forgetting about the struggles,
and strifes-
but the good things?

Have you just looked at some of the good things in your life and just been thankful?
And have you let that thankfulness just sink in?
and not just surface level sink in,
like letting it seep into every ounce of your being?

Where you breathe in thankfulness, and breathe out hope?

Just a thought.

It changes things.
Let's try it together.



Genuine thankfulness.

"All of my favorite people are broken..."

Here lately, I feel like God has had a sort of sense of humor.
He has been trying to prove a point in my life for a long time now,
and I guess it's just taken me opening my eyes to really see it.

I have always been the type of person to try to keep it all together,
not say too much,
not burden,
not over-kill my problems,
or put them on display.
Keep to the standards that were set for me,
aim above them and carry on.
When the truth is- their has really been a lot of "broken" pieces in my story.
Some things I'm not proud of,
Some things just now surfacing,
and some things still coming to understanding that happened years ago.

But really, if we are being honest-
we are all beautifully broken.

Some of us have physical impairments that put our unpolished pieces on display.
Some of us have disabilities that make it apparent that we aren't like everyone else.
Some of us are blessed with a mess.
Some of us have hardened hearts that bleed out our brokenness.
Some of us wear our brokenness under our clothes.
Some of us hide behind our schedules and lifestyles so maybe our brokenness won't show.
Some of us will just flat out admit it.

But regardless of which "some of us" catagory we fall into-
we are all broken.

But guess what?
Jesus never asked us to be perfect, and infact-
He died so we would never have to be.

See- He never expected a perfect offering.
But has always been thankful with what we are able to give.

It also kinda levels the playing field-
when you really think about it.
All of us are broken in some way,
none no better than the other.
We can never race to or one up God's love.
Though our stories and scars may be different-
the offering of our hearts surrendered is the same.
Because you see-
Jesus isn't looking at our scars-
He's got nail scarred hands that took care of all of ours.
He is looking past all of the muck and mess, into the heart of it all.

Not to mention the same sweet Jesus that sees past our scars and brokenness planned out our life to look exactly like it does right now.
No tear ignorned,
No smiled missed,
No laugh unheard,
No heartache unfelt.
It's making a grand symphony,
a woven tapestry.

An anthem of broken souls strung together to create something breathtakingly beautiful.
Glory.


Beauty in a an imperfect offering.
Mmm.


Our brokenness made whole in a Saviors love.
Talk about something to be grateful for.
Goodness.

We all have a road to walk...

A single mother,
working minimum wage, 3 kids
working her job as a nurse,
and effortlessly working her job as a mother.
Day in and day out.
It's not much,
but she loves.

A girl trying to fight the temptations of the flesh,
knowing what is right,
knowing what is wrong,
but being stuck in the middle.
Paralyzed by fear,
clinging to the hope of a Savior,
and the religion she almost let go.

A boy who knows he has worth,
but it told otherwise,
every day.
Constantly picking up the pieces,
and clinging to the life-
that constantly leaves his emotions
black and blue.

A man with a wife and a baby on the way,
working hard,
standing for honor, and respect.
Giving is life for his country,
and sacrificing his family for the next 6 months.

A little boy without parents,
fighting HIV,
fighting hunger,
fighting the war on poverty,
and the war on drugs
facing the choices
to change,
or live a life of the same.

A hard working woman,
single, middle aged,
hard to love,
harder to hate.
Poured her heart into someone,
who didn't do the same.
Now she's left with the pieces that remain.


I personally know each one of the people mentioned in the words above, and personally have realized how we all have a road to walk.
None of the roads are ever really easy,
none are always pretty or picture perfect.
But none the less- they are the roads that sum up this crazy thing that we all call life.

See the thing is we all have our own roads to walk,
and we all have the choice to walk them with grace,
trying to keep up and condition ourselves to the pace,
or walk them with sorrow,
just dragging on and pushing through til tomorrow.

What road are you walking today? I know theres pretty, and I know there's tough stuff in it.
How are you choosing to walk it?
It's your life, and sunshine-



you only get one.




walk it well.

where ever you find yourself.